


Swearing it's different this time

by Petra



Category: Battlestar Galactica 2003
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-14
Updated: 2007-02-14
Packaged: 2019-09-19 20:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17008362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra/pseuds/Petra
Summary: Sometimes Helo looks at Roslin and remembers that if she'd had her way, she would've died.





	Swearing it's different this time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anonymous_sibyl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_sibyl/gifts).



> Written for the shAgathon. Beta-read by deconcentrate.

And she's not the President anymore, which is the worst part. It means she has a name, same as everybody else, and if anybody slips up and calls her the title that isn't hers anymore she just smiles and looks sad and shakes her head, a little.

Helo's really used to that expression -- Sharon has it every time somebody calls her Boomer, too.

But the -- Laura -- her name's Laura, not that he'll ever call her that -- just keeps going, talking about the people who aren't her people, the ones who were dumb enough to vote against her. She's not perfect -- he'll never forgive her for wanting to kill the baby before she was even born -- but sometimes she's beautiful.

That's not a thought it's safe to think, no matter that he's not hooked into any kind of grid and neither's the love of his life. If Kara wasn't mooning after her jock boy, Helo could probably get away with a little roll in a bunk with her and only make Sharon laugh at him with the story.

Kara's different, though. Kara hates and loves and doesn't get over anything, but she doesn't want to kill any babies.

The Old Man gets it, too. The baby problem and how it's a not-the-President problem. Maybe that's how Helo ends up assigned to help the transition of the government -- like he knows squat about transitioning governments. He'd be better off transitioning _Pegasus_ , but that job's taken, too. Instead, he's cleaning out _Colonial One_ while are-you-frakking-kidding-me-President-Elect-Baltar is off visiting another ship, kissing babies on _Cloud Nine_ or whatever it is President Elects do.

If Laura Roslin never again smiles at him with that sad, forgiving smile, it will be too soon. As soon as she's on the dirt, Helo gets to go back to his Sharon and his CAP, maybe with a side-order of CIC depending on where he's needed, and he can forget that Roslin is as human as almost anybody, or even that she's alive.

The official military position on New Caprica isn't one they're talking about openly, yet, but from the feel of things, Helo's sure he won't have to see her or her successor for a good long time.

"Lieutenant Agathon," she calls him in her quiet voice, sounding tired. They've got everything packed up that's worth packing, stuffed into a Raptor. Her aides are already gone and the press doesn't care about her anymore, but the military hasn't forgotten her. The Admiral owes his promotion to her, in a way -- and more than that, probably, but even the pilots' mess doesn't talk about that much. She gets a private shuttle down.

Maybe because if she didn't, she wouldn't get there. Too many people want her on their ships, too many people want her on their side. You'd think she'd won.

The last things they take are the flag -- "It was a gift from President Adar," she says -- and the picture that Adama sent her.

The copy Helo sees most often is covered in fingerprints and smears, for luck and hope. People work hard when they see it, and keep it in their hearts. This copy looks like no one's touched it since it was hung up, and maybe it's weaker for that.

Maybe if she'd touched it every day, she would've won.

Maybe pilots are even more superstitious than Roslin, who sends them on long and weirdly fruitful trips back home for holy arrows.

Maybe Helo needs to get away from her before she finds him a holy mission, too.

He didn't tell Sharon exactly where he was going when he left to help Roslin, either. He gets how mad the woman makes her, and sometimes he gets his own little jolts of righteous rage.

Sometimes Helo looks at Roslin and remembers that if she'd had her way, she would've died.

And then where would they all be?

Packing for New Caprica.

Helo takes the last box out and over -- you don't make convalescent former Presidents fetch and carry, or anyway the Admiral doesn't.

When he gets it stowed, he's ready to go, but she's not behind him. He backtracks and finds Roslin running her fingers over the desk and looking so hurt he has to think carefully to be sure he didn't just call her the wrong thing. When she hears him, she looks up. "You are too efficient for my comfort, Lieutenant."

He salutes her, then turns it into a shrug. "Sorry -- ma'am."

She presses her lips together and shakes her head. "It is your job, I'm sure. Watching you tote my things around makes me feel even older than the term 'ma'am.'" Her smile turns less sad, more like something that doesn't look like it hurts to do. "One of the few perquisites of this post has been the opportunity to interact with the military on a more human level."

Helo's not as good at going bland as some people are -- in his heart, he salutes Apollo -- but he can manage a toneless "Ma'am" when it's all there is to say.

"One of my deepest regrets is how much pain I caused you -- among others," she says.

He's got better manners than to tell her just how much ice that would cut with Sharon.

He's still on, "Ma'am?"

He doesn't get past it when she brushes her fingers over his cheek, either.

"I had to think of the good of my people," Roslin says, and Helo knows right then that the Lords of Kobol blessed him with more patience than his poor mother would ever believe, because he doesn't even begin to punch her.

He says, "Hera was one of your people, too," through his teeth.

Roslin puts her hand on his shoulder and tilts her head to one side. "I know, Lieutenant. I truly do. That's part of what I regret so much."

He can hear Sharon in his memories, and he knows if she was here she'd yell at Roslin that that doesn't count for anything, that Hera's dead and that's the only thing that matters.

He also knows that sometimes Sharon's not right about everything. Whatever the Cylons think about God or Gods, they don't seem to be really big on forgiveness.

Helo lets the rest of his breath out and decides that it's a good day to start not hating Roslin anymore. "Thank you," he says.

He doesn't say he'll share it with Sharon, because he knows that wouldn't work.

Roslin's little squeeze to his shoulder and the relief in her smile when she lets him go says she knows that, too. "I'm ready to go, Lieutenant."


End file.
